lower east side librarian

Chuck0 Facebooked me the link to this LOLcats/God mash-up, "If God Were a Cat."

My favorites are the toast, the ball of yarn, and the earth cat toy by killshot71.

I wrote something sort of along those lines in my zine last year, which I will reproduce here for your cat loving pleasure. (If you're a cat hater, I don't want to know about it.)

If my cat ruled the world...

• Everyone would be allowed to rub the royal belly.

• People would not be allowed to put cats in boxes, and veterinary medicine would be a crime.
• Cat food production in China would be a lot more closely monitored.
• His humans would be prohibited from leaving the apartment (but it would be a lot bigger).
• There would be no mental illness because everyone would know that all you need to do to be worthwhile and contribute to the world is allow yourself to be loved.
• Litter boxes would always be clean.
• There would be no religion, ideology, or anything else to distract attention from the little white rub me spots on the royal ears.
• He'd have a bionic prosthetic leg.
• Instead of a 2 hour siesta in the middle of the day, there's be a 2 hour workday, from 2-4am.
• Cans would be delivered on demand, without apology.
• He'd be rotund.

RIP Partners, and TAZ, too.